Snow

Things turn out. There are those reading this, new friends of mine mostly and some old friends too, that have had the pleasure of that 'first' go-around with chemotherapy and/or who have had to go through some other experience which tested them in some similar way. That line by Margaret Hamilton playing Elmira Gulch/Wicked Witch of the West - "Ohhhhh... What a world! What a world!" as she is melting away came to mind for some reason. Let me not steer you wrong - today was better and not just because I decided it would be (although that did play into it). That experience that some have had is fantastic - and I don't mean 'great;' rather, I mean the other definition of the word which is: so extreme as to challenge belief.

It still took me longer to crawl out of bed than I'd hoped this morning. And it was my kind of day - rainy, spring snowy mix at the time - something which I would normally wake up to out of a dead-sleep in the middle of the night as part of my abnormal internal wiring. As I waited and listened to my family beginning their day without me I almost felt as though I were in the La Brea Tar Pits - stuck, waiting for that instinctual and animal part of me to trigger the alarm that says - "GET MOVING!" That was tempered by the rational and human part that was saying - all systems are not currently go, if you move that feeling in your stomach may be more than you think and ditto for the pain. Ultimately, the former won out and I got out of bed.

Fortunately, I live in the company of angels and their "Good Morning" warmed me to the core. And, to further put a point on it, God changed that rainy, snowy mix that was falling to the most beautiful, fluffy snow at that moment. Things turn out. Now, now I have that - the memory that for whatever hardship I thought I'd had, that those involved and connected to me went through with me - things turn out... it passes.

Far as what I had to do today for treatment - just had to endure a finger-prick in order to give a blood sample to test my blood counts. My white blood counts are very high - indicating that I'm probably fighting a bug of some kind. Not surprising with CJ having an earache on the tail-end of the cold we shared as I went into chemotherapy #1. I'm feeling fine, I can't tell that I might have a cold - have maybe a stuffy nose, maybe a sore throat, et cetera - hard to distinguish ailments which are related to the chemo versus maybe having a bug. Anyhow, this first of my daily blood tests this week did not raise a significant concern with the doctor's office and they allowed me to leave today. Or did they tell me to stop loitering?

We followed my appointment with a probably overdue one for CJ. My poor dear has infections in both ears but now has new meds that should get her feeling better. While Kimmie and CJ were in with the pediatrician, I waited outside (pediatrician's office probably not a smart place to hang out for me) and enjoyed the fresh air. That word enjoyed needs to be emphasized. I stood out there, some snow pellets intermittently falling, trading off the effort it took to stand there for the opportunity it was to stand there. This time, I was thankful for the extended wait that is typical at the pediatricians.

I've added a YouTube video of a commencement address by Apple Computer's Steve Jobs. The text of that speech is here - http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html but I encourage those interested to watch the video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1R-jKKp3NA. It is important throughout, but I want to say that a sentence stood out as something I felt important for everyone to think about - "It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months." Important because I personally didn't fully live this way before and, backing up the clock to a time before my diagnosis with MCL, I didn't realize how true it is that everyone alive presumes too much if you 'thought you'd have the next 10 years.'